| One of the things I meant to do when I returned to | | | | living in a house of bed-sits - or one-room apartments |
| Scotland four years ago was to look up an old | | | | - peopled mainly by musicians. It was run by a little |
| Scottish friend that I'd last seen some twenty years | | | | woman called Angie, who was near the end of her |
| ago in London. In truth I had a whole hatful of | | | | career as a dancer. At this time she had a whip act |
| ambitions and intentions on my list, and rather to my | | | | with a guy called Dennis. It was quite a skilful act, as |
| own surprise and to the utter amazement of my | | | | he had to crack this whip around her throat from a |
| wife and daughter, I've gradually managed to tick | | | | distance, and, as she explained it, one little mistake |
| them off over the last few years. Alright, I know | | | | and the whip would throttle her.Angie liked a drink or |
| you can't wait to find out what was on this list, so I'll | | | | two and always wore dark glasses. She did not get |
| just run through some of them briefly. First of all, | | | | on well with her partner. I think he had once been |
| since I was no longer a full-time musician, having | | | | more than her stage partner, but now they bickered |
| developed the guitarists version of tennis elbow, I | | | | constantly, like an old married couple. Dennis was a |
| needed something else to fill my time, and the only | | | | big man with a little goatee beard. He had a soft, |
| other thing I was good at (apart from snooker) was | | | | whiney voice, like David Beckham but he was mighty |
| art. I had always painted and sketched, mostly | | | | strong. I remember once giving Angie a lift in her |
| landscapes, although I rarely sold anything.I had an | | | | minicar (she didn't drive), after they had had a row. |
| idea that there was a market for pet portraits if I | | | | He came out of the house and stood in front of the |
| could reach it, and and the way to do that seemed | | | | car to make it stop and then twisted off the wing |
| to be via the internet, so I bought a computer, digital | | | | mirror with one hand and tossed it in the gutter. |
| camera, printer etc and hired a local company to | | | | Then he just ambled off. A nice guy, really, I don't |
| design and run a website for me. After a while I | | | | think he ever hit her.As I said, most of the tenants |
| realized that it was much cheaper to design your | | | | were musicians. There was Maggie, who had a great |
| own site, so I thought I'd have a go - how hard | | | | voice and adored Billie Holiday. In fact everybody in |
| could it be, right? Very hard, was the answer, as | | | | the house adored Billie Holiday, except one guy who |
| anybody who has tried it will tell you, but after two | | | | was a second-hand furniture dealer. There was |
| years of HTML, jpg's, links, virus's, backache, eye | | | | George, another bass player, who, on being hauled up |
| strain and late nights I finally got the hang of it, | | | | in front of the captain of a liner when he was |
| although as a result of being self-taught I find I'm | | | | working on a cruise, stood eyeball to eyeball with him |
| quite knowledgeable about some aspects of | | | | and told him that he (George) was just as good at |
| web-building and appallingly ignorant about | | | | his job as the captain was at his. He probably was, |
| others.Another project near to my heart was the | | | | too.Then there was Kenny Vick, who was a jazz |
| search for any survivors of the Scottish side of my | | | | guitarist. He was very fastidious and tidy, and would |
| family - a side I had lost contact with as a child. This | | | | follow you about the room, picking up any bits of |
| was one of the reasons I'd gone on the internet in | | | | fluff or crumbs thst you might have dropped (a trait |
| the first place, and yes, there were still Collins's living | | | | he shared with my mother). He was a great player |
| in the Edinburgh area and Cowdenbeath, where I | | | | though.I learnt from all these people (with the |
| was born.When I made the trip down to Fife, I met | | | | possible exception of the furniture dealer, who |
| my cousin June, who told me about my dad, who I | | | | nobody liked anyway), but the one I remember most |
| never really knew, and about my grandad, who was | | | | is Lindsay Cooper. I remember playing flamenco in a |
| a miner (as all the men in the area were before the | | | | pub while he read Frederico Lorca poetry in English |
| mining industry was destroyed by the - but don't get | | | | (his idea) and I remember him dragging us all down to |
| me started). Grandad was known as Tiger Collins | | | | a music shop which had a sale on. He insisted that I |
| because of his red hair. My cousin also told me that I | | | | buy a book of Bach's partitas and sonatas for violin. I |
| had a half-sister who had been looking for me for | | | | couldn't afford it but I bought it anyway. I still have it |
| years, and was under the impression that I had | | | | on my bookshelf, and I would never part with it.We |
| emigrated to Australia.I had known that I had a sister | | | | used to get together in someones room about once |
| but what I didn't know was that she lived just | | | | a week to talk about whatever came into our heads. |
| twenty miles from where I used to live in England. I | | | | One time the talk turned to South Africa. (This was |
| now know there are Collins's across west to Glasgow | | | | long before the end of apartheid). The conversation |
| and probably all the way over into Ireland and down | | | | was animated as usual. Everyone had something to |
| to Dublin in Cork, where all Collins's ultimately come | | | | say except Lindsay, who said nothing for about half |
| from. I'm also connected to the Donaldsons (my | | | | an hour. Finally the talk died down and everyone |
| middle name). The Donaldsons or Clan Donald were | | | | looked at Lindsay expectantly. He said nothing for a |
| Lords of the Western Isles at the time of the | | | | while, then cleared his throat. "South Africa's a turnip". |
| Jacobite rebellion, but that's a story for another | | | | There didn't seem anything to add to that.Although |
| time.Another idea that I had was to own a collie and | | | | he had a love of classical music he wasn't a great |
| after I lost my Patch I acquired a border collie cross | | | | traditionalist. He thought that the past was |
| called Oscar and we've just bought a rough collie as a | | | | sometimes a hinderance to creativity. I didn't have his |
| companion for him. We call her Daisy May. There are | | | | bold, fearless approach then, and I havn't got it now. |
| a couple of items still on my list - I can't find a | | | | I remember asking him, at one of our gatherings, |
| decent snooker club and there are no chess clubs | | | | how he could ignore something like the paintings of |
| within easy reach, but there is one idea that will | | | | Rembrandt and he said he would get rid of them. I |
| never be realized. Lindsay Cooper, my old friend from | | | | asked him how, and he said he'd burn them. Nobody |
| London died the year we moved up to Scotland.I | | | | said anything. Lindsay looked around, noticed the |
| found this out recently when I finally got around to | | | | stunned silence and hastened to make amends. " Oh, |
| making a search on the internet. When I knew him | | | | but with grrreat rrreverence", he said in his broad |
| he was the spitting image of 'Animal' from Hill Street | | | | Glaswegian accent. |
| Blues - remember the little guy with the dark hair and | | | | Rest in Peace, Lindsay. |
| the droopy moustache? - except he had the | | | | James Donaldson Collins James Donaldson Collins is |
| broadest of Glaswegian accents. He played the | | | | an artist and writer. He lives in the Highlands of |
| double bass and also the cello. He played jazz but he | | | | Scotland with his wife, daughter and three dogs. His |
| also loved Bach.I'm talking about a time before I'd | | | | interests are conservation, history, science fiction, |
| met my wife. I was very young and, it seems to me | | | | chess and snooker. He also claims to play guitar like a |
| now, pretty dumb, but I was lucky enough to be | | | | ringing a bell. |