| As the engine roar melted to a kitten purr and our | | | | patch of waterfront paradise, soaked up the |
| boat nuzzled up to the Caye Caulker pier, we did a | | | | afternoon sun, and flipped through back issues of |
| quick inventory check. Dancing palms, tick. Sun | | | | Mexican celebrity gossip magazines found discarded in |
| bleached beach, tick. Island motto, "Go Slow", painted | | | | our room - anything to keep our minds off the fact |
| lazily on a signpost stuck in the sand, tick. I gave my | | | | that our days of sloth were numbered. Back at the |
| partner in crime a private smile. This was the place. | | | | bungalow we hatched our plan. We were not giving |
| We'd escaped...for now.Bobbing up and down against | | | | up our life of leisure that easily. We would go down |
| a tiny Belizean island on the Caribbean Sea wasn't in | | | | partying. Caye Ambergris awaited and I had a |
| the original script. The plan had been to fly into Belize | | | | birthday to celebrate.As the largest, most developed, |
| for a quick taste of eco-adventure before slipping | | | | and most expensive of the Belizean islands, Caye |
| over the Guatemalan border. But we'd got greedy, | | | | Ambergris caters well for the first class holiday |
| and four days later, we were still there with our | | | | seeker, with a range of villas, luxury home stays and |
| hands caught in the action jar. Jungle hikes, eco-tours, | | | | resorts to choose from. To prepare for our last |
| Jaguar spotting, cave tubing, Mayan ruins and | | | | stand, we checked into the mysteriously named Sun |
| mountain bike treks. Where would it end? The | | | | Breeze Beach Hotel, close to the main town of San |
| equatorial heat was on. We'd needed a place to lay | | | | Pedro, for some pampering and creature comforts. |
| low for a couple of days. Somewhere a man could | | | | The spacious rooms, resort style swimming pool, |
| find a secluded beach and lie back and think of | | | | Jacuzzi, massage studio, swanky outdoor bar, and |
| England, or anywhere else he'd rather not be. After | | | | international flavoured restaurant were a world away |
| making a few discreet inquiries we knew there was | | | | from the Gilliganism's of Caye Caulker, but at only |
| only one place to hide, and only one man powerful | | | | USD125 a night, my inner Thurston Howell the third |
| enough to help us get there. The man known only | | | | was calling.Pandered, pleasured, and fed in ways that |
| as, "The Marine Terminal ticket booth guy".So we | | | | only money can buy, we climbed to the lookout over |
| paid for our boat passes in small, unmarked bills, | | | | the hotel bar. Slipping in the hammock, we witnessed |
| jumped aboard the first vessel bound for the islands, | | | | one of the most beautiful sunsets the Caribbean has |
| and left the spoils of mainland adventure in our wake. | | | | to offer. Swinging back and forth with a birthday |
| Not that the warm blue coastal waters were fooling | | | | cocktail in hand, I could truly appreciate how |
| us. Home to more than one hundred and seventy | | | | delightfully far we were from anything resembling an |
| islands, or cayes, and the world's second largest | | | | office cubicle. Contemplation over, I made my final |
| barrier reef, it wouldn't be easy to keep our hands | | | | charge into the night. Crazy Canucks Bar, crazy |
| off a bounty of aquatic fun that has tempted | | | | Canadian in tow, we drank, laughed and danced |
| travellers since Blackbeard and his Buccaneer posse | | | | embarrassingly to reggae music until sunrise.The |
| cruised these waters back in the 1600's. Yet, as we | | | | following days we gorged on water sports as fast as |
| stood on this unassuming wharf and watched our | | | | Caye Ambergris could dish them up. There was diving |
| getaway vessel pull out of dock, the captain turned | | | | amongst some of the world's most beautiful coral |
| to us with some re-assuring words of advice, "Relax | | | | reefs, sailing tours around the island, deep-sea fishing |
| mon. You're on Caye Caulker time now".If Gilligan had | | | | for sailfish and barracuda, jet skiing and paragliding off |
| ever taken up real estate development, Caye | | | | the sun-tickled beaches. Oh how we feasted!Our |
| Caulker town would have been his Big Apple. Dozing | | | | hunger for aqua adventure finally satiated, we |
| peacefully on this slip of an island, the cluster of | | | | wandered into town, plonked our behinds on the |
| brightly painted ramshackle beach hideaways, | | | | nearest bikes for rent, and peddled to the far |
| deserted beach lots, scattered fishing boats, palm | | | | reaches of the island. Crossing a small river by |
| trees, sand floor restaurants, dive huts, and salty old | | | | man-pulling-rope-very-hard-powered ferry to the less |
| sailors propping up bars at 11am in the morning, | | | | populated north island, we cycled along remote dirt |
| makes for the perfect getaway haven.The jewels in | | | | tracks lined with sweeping palm trees. Emerging from |
| Caye Caulker's crown are it minimalist pleasures. No | | | | the bush onto the beach at the edge of the lapping |
| international resorts, flashy nightclubs, or peak hour | | | | blue Caribbean, it was a leisurely ride along long |
| traffic. Remember the motto? Go slow. Our mission, | | | | stretches of white squeaky sand to the "money" end |
| and yes we did choose to accept it, was to find a | | | | of town.The north beach plays host to luxurious |
| bungalow for as little as forty dollars per night on a | | | | resort bungalows and private beach villas. I pondered |
| quiet stretch of squeaky white sand, treat our | | | | ambitiously over the For Sale sign standing outside |
| palates to an array of seafood delights, and then | | | | one particularly hedonistic abode. Apparently, the |
| debrief over a drink at a beach bar watching the sun | | | | former owner wasn't happy about motoring his 80ft |
| slip beneath a sheet of Caribbean blue sea. This | | | | cruiser around all that coral nonsense to moor outside |
| message will self-indulge in five seconds.Before long, | | | | his beach palace. Being the entrepreneurial type, he'd |
| we'd slipped into the "no shoes, no shirt, no problem" | | | | used a few sticks of dynamite to blast a neat little |
| and "sarong, swimsuit, smile" dress code, and | | | | driveway straight through the reef. Unfortunately, |
| immersed ourselves amongst the welcoming band of | | | | the government didn't see it that way and sent him |
| eclectic castaways. It soon became clear that the | | | | a fine big enough to clear the Belize national debt. He |
| local brew of Creoles, Central Americans, and | | | | was last seen paddling a canoe in the direction of |
| Europeans posed little threat to our relaxation plans. | | | | Cuba.A little further along we stumbled across |
| However, we'd have to keep tabs on the North | | | | Captain Morgan's Retreat, setting of the original |
| American retirees swerving along the streets in | | | | Temptation Island show. As we stood outside the |
| rickety old golf carts, sending dogs, children and | | | | Mecca of televised drama, so many touching |
| loitering tourists running for cover.For three perfect | | | | memories came flooding back. Amber and Troy |
| days we hid behind sunglasses, cocktail umbrellas and | | | | whispering under a palm tree, probably discussing the |
| lobster menus, wondering if maybe, just maybe, | | | | effects of global warming. Shawana ditching Gary and |
| there would be no more calls to action, and life really | | | | confessing to Chad 'you had me at "are those things |
| was a beach after all. Then one night, whilst minding | | | | real?"' At that moment, I couldn't help but appreciate |
| our own business over a couple of tall Panty Rippers | | | | the truly important things in life. I turned to the ski |
| at Popeye's Bar and Restaurant, the bartender told | | | | bunny and told her she had a smile so beautiful it |
| us a man had been in asking questions. "Did he know | | | | could almost pass as cosmetically enhanced.Peddling |
| anyone who might like to explore the reef?" "Had he | | | | across the beach towards town for the last time |
| seen any tourists dance so badly to the reggae band | | | | before heading back to the mainland, we waved |
| they couldn't possibly show their faces around the | | | | goodbye to all the things we loved about the cayes. |
| island?" The next morning, we went to see a man | | | | The lazy palm trees, the ivory white sands, the aqua |
| about a snorkelling tour.Whilst experienced divers | | | | blue waters, the hammocks swinging in the breeze, |
| prefer the more exciting sites in the waters off Caye | | | | the friendly faces, the plastic whale and dolphin |
| Ambergris, the beautiful calm reefs of Caye Caulker | | | | fountain splashing water over Jesus outside the pink |
| offered the ideal setting for first timer submariners | | | | Jehovah's Witness mansion...the what? Anyway, for a |
| like my nervous companion, a Canadian mountain girl, | | | | couple of repeat adventure travel offenders, it sure |
| much more at ease in a set of ski's than a pair of | | | | made a nice place for a day pass or two.Some have |
| flippers.After the initial disappointment of learning that | | | | said I spend too much time living in a fantasy world, |
| this wasn't my chance to wear a tight rubber body | | | | that I need to get a grip on reality. Sometimes I |
| suit in public, the reef snorkelling trip turned out to be | | | | think they're right. But then again, they've probably |
| a fantastic experience. We goggled and gawked at | | | | never been to the Belizean cayes.Simon Hillier is a |
| the amazing array of fish, eels, and spectacular coral | | | | freelance writer based in Sydney, Australia. His |
| formations. The highlight of the three-hour tour was | | | | company, Get There Writing Services, provides |
| Shark Ray Alley, where Nurse sharks circled our wary | | | | copywriting, travel writing, feature articles, scripts and |
| group from a distance before weaving in for a closer | | | | ebooks that will have your readers clicking and |
| look, and the Southern Ray stingrays slid their | | | | streaming for more. For further information on |
| expansive wings over our bodies. Both proved to be | | | | Simon's article services, visit the feature articles and |
| fairly harmless, if perhaps a little fresh for a first | | | | travel writing section of the Get There Writing |
| date.For the rest of the day hardly a word was | | | | Services website. |
| spoken. Mountain girl and I adjourned to our secluded | | | | |